Tuesday 31 August 2010

Without You I'm Nothing

1 comment:

  1. To whom it may concern,

    Since the end of August 2010, myself and my wife have been attempting the "wordsearch" published on your quite mediocre blog. As seasoned wordsearchers, we quickly realised that we were up against an almighty conundrum, but neither of us are the sort of person to back down from such a challenge. I saw off the Nazis in the war, and my wife once kicked a basking shark to death after it tried to eat our Yorkshire terrier, so we are certainly no shrinking violets when it comes to overcoming adversity.

    However, on this occasion, we found ourselves up a wordsearch gum tree without a paddle. Initially, both myself and my wife worked together, intensely scouring the puzzle's letters for any trace of the words listed below it. Then, after nearly 3 days without sleep, water or food, a combination of dehydration and fatigue-induced delirium forced us to begin a shift pattern, with us both taking turns doing 4 hours of wordsearching, followed by 4 hours recuperation. This arrangement continued unabated for almost 7 months. During this time, our incessant wordsearching proved unfruitful.

    By the spring of 2011, our marriage was in trouble. My wife began to suspect that we'd both been duped by a bogus wordsearch, but I was still insistent that we press on and finish the job that we'd started; many a heated row ensued. Regrettably, by the time that it did finally dawn on me that the puzzle was indeed undoable, my house had been repossessed and my wife had run off with the coalman. Furthermore, judging by what I found on the doorstep this morning, our cat never made it through the cold snap in January.

    All of this leads me to the issuing of an ultimatum. I will have no option but to take legal action against you and your blog unless you either post the full solution to the aforementioned "wordsearch" or else immediately remove the offending item, issue a full and unreserved apology, buy me my house back from Barclays, defrost Mr Tiddles, and get the coalman to return my wife and drop off a couple of bags of coal while he's here.


    Warmest regards,

    Henry "The Winkle" Winklebottom.

    ReplyDelete

Never kick a man too hard while he's down.

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